My Big Fat 05 Wedding

Friday night was huge for us at The Rock. Charley and Becky got married.

Charley and Becky moved in next to the 12^th Street Girls back in the early summer. Laura told me one day back then that there was a house with 5 kids in one family and four visiting cousins. So I headed over one day and so did Melissa McDonald (our children’s pastor). We made some contact, building on what the girls had started.

Charley and Becky were displaced by Katrina, and have been bouncing around since that storm. But, they were bouncing around even before that, trying to scrape by. As we got to know them, I began to sense that they were the kind of family we work best with: a family with kids, a family that needs some close fellowship, and a family that needs some serious, committed financial help to get on their feet. Luckily in the 12^th Street Girls, we have a group that draws people in thru hospitality and prayer, and also has bought into the model of ministry to the poor that says you have to be willing to pay a lot, to have an accountable relationship as opposed to a one-time shot of some pittance that won’t change anything anyway.

It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. There have been times where all kinds of relationships have been strained—between us and Becky and Charley, between Becky and Charley, between those of us doing the ministry. But one great thing came out of it: it drove us to prayer and intentional community.

So after a few months of Becky and Charley seeing how much we love each other, how much we love them, they started realizing that we weren’t going anywhere, that we stood beside them through all kinds of hard times, they began to want to be part of the work the Holy Spirit is doing among us. A few weeks ago, I baptized their youngest children, reminding the congregation that baptism is not our individual vote for Jesus (I stole that from Charles Brockwell), but rather is God’s work, His grace, bringing us into the Kingdom. It would be especially important for the congregation to know that Becky and Charley were giving us their children. We will raise them with them, especially until Becky and Charley reaffirm their faith.

So they told me they wanted to get married. So much stuff came out of that. Chucky, their first-grader asks, “Do we have to get married, too?” I wanted to say, “But you are getting married! The closer your family comes to Jesus and the Church, the more it must resemble a marriage, love and submission to the Lord.” But you can hardly explain that mystery to adults. But maybe kids can get it? Jazmen said, “Mommy, I am so glad you are getting married!” So while we may think that getting married after you have 5 kids doesn’t seem like the way to do it, look what God redeems! I think it will be very important for the children to remember when their mom and dad got married!

Charley and Becky were worried about a reception. I said, “Let you friends take care of that.” I suppose I was presumptuous in this (Sorry, Laura!) but I knew the 12^th Street Girls would have no problem with their Friday night dinner being a wedding reception, especially not for Charley and Becky, because all this Holy Spirit work started in Laura and Jessica’s back yard…

So last night we had a simple service in the chapel. Becky looked beautiful (Shannon, a 12^th Street neighbor, set her up with a dress, nails, make-up, hair) and Charley had on a nice suit and bow tie. Jazmen and NeNe were flower girls. I was so glad to see everyone there who came. It was some important work we were up to, something that transcends the personal lives of the people involved; it is the very heart of the church.

It was a cool night and so we decided that 12^th Street had to be in the Fellowship Hall. Some folks set it up really nicely, with lights and a bridal party table on the stage. Jim and Becky Connell of the Lexington Rescue Mission made a great meal for us. How awesome is that, to have those kinds of friends who jump in because they see what God is doing and want in!

We had a great reception for Becky and Charley. Sure enough, 12^th Street was there that night, and it felt good to be in the church, to be at home with family. Carlotta said, “We need to celebrate stuff like this more often.” Amen, sister. I sense that if we kepe being faithful to this move of the Holy Spirit, this drive to quit planning and controlling, to let Him work and bless and push us past where we are comfortable, we will see more people bringing more of their lives to celebrate with us.

We were involved in the mystery of God last night. It seems simple enough: a wedding of two people who love each other, who are seeing the possibility of a different kind of life, friends getting together. But it was so much more. A shadow of things to come. An exhilaration if we think how much we should, and can, commit our lives to Jesus, to each other.